Squad Car 22 - Trailer/ Mini-Episode - Take out Tony
Wondering if Squad Car 22 is better than gum-flavored popsicles? Then listen to this trailer/ mini-episode and decide for yourself. Squad Car 22 is a sci-fi, comedy, audio-drama available for free. This episode stars Nathan Feuerberg and Martin James Grapengeter with narration by Lady Zen.
Listen to other audio dramas by Deep Drag at deepdrag.com
Transcript
[Holloway] Hmm, Mario's Pizzeria, I don't recall that being there.
Speaker:I wonder if they do tiramisu.
Speaker:[Holloway] Anybody home?
Speaker:[Campari] [Laughs] [Holloway] Are you are you open?
Speaker:[Campari] Who's a askin'?
Speaker:[Holloway] Me, Officer Holloway.
Speaker:[Campari] [Laughs] [Holloway] Hey, hold up.
Speaker:Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?
Speaker:Are you a Campari bottle that can speak?
Speaker:[Campari] That's a right.
Speaker:You got a problem with that?
Speaker:[Holloway] Can you sell me a piece of tiramisu?
Speaker:[Campari] I don't see why not.
Speaker:We're open for business, if you know what I mean.
Speaker:[Holloway] Well, I guess I'm cool with it then.
Speaker:[Campari] But come on, tiramisu is for softies.
Speaker:How about I get you something with a little more forte.
Speaker:Something a little more hardcore.
Speaker:[Lasagna] Hardcore!
Speaker:[Holloway] Wait, who else is in here?
Speaker:[Campari] Oh, that's just Lasagna.
Speaker:Don't worry about him.
Speaker:[Holloway] Hmm.
Speaker:[Campari] What if I were to tell you I had some vitello al parmigiano?
Speaker:[Holloway] Is that Italian for veal parmesan.
Speaker:[Campari] That's a right.
Speaker:[Holloway] Man back when I was a kid I used to love parmesan hoagies.
Speaker:But these days you can't even talk about baby cows on a bun.
Speaker:[Campari] Oh yeah. [Laughs] Vitello so silky and smooth on the tongue.
Speaker:Not rough like the beef.
Speaker:[Holloway] I don't know.
Speaker:If anyone at the precinct found out, I never hear the end of it.
Speaker:[Campari] Do we look like the type to go around running our mouths?
Speaker:[Holloway] You look like the types who wouldn't mind clubbing a baby seal.
Speaker:[Campari] We're a nice guys.
Speaker:We're, how do you say, Goodfellas.
Speaker:[Holloway] Well I didn't mean to...
Speaker:[Campari] Look, look, if that's what your into I guess we could arrange it.
Speaker:[Holloway] No, no, I'm fine with with a parmesan sandwich and a piece of tiramisu.
Speaker:[Campari] Well, for an extra twenty dollars, we'll bring in a baby veal and give it you
Speaker:a mallet to bludgeon it with.
Speaker:[Holloway] Thanks but I'm the type of guy who likes his dinner prepackaged in plastic
Speaker:wrap.
Speaker:[Campari] You don't have to lie.
Speaker:We're all friends here.
Speaker:[Holloway] No, really I can't even crack open raw oysters.
Speaker:[Campari] Oh come on, there's nothing like pounding the head of a little, baby, vitello
Speaker:with a big shiny hammer.
Speaker:It's an exquisite experience
Speaker:[Lasagna] Exquisite!
Speaker:[Holloway] Hmm, maybe it's better if I just leave.
Speaker:[Campari] Just hold on.
Speaker:Hey!
Speaker:Tony!
Speaker:Come in here!
Speaker:[Tony] [Tony runs in. The bell around his neck rings.]
Speaker:[Campari] This is Tony.
Speaker:Only six weeks old.
Speaker:Tony turn around.
Speaker:Let the nice copper have a look at you.
Speaker:[Tony] [Tony runs around, bell ringing.]
Speaker:[Campari] That's a good vitello.
Speaker:Now roll over.
Speaker:[Tony] [Tony moos] [Campari] Come on Tony.
Speaker:Roll over for the policeman.
Speaker:[Holloway] Okay guys, I'm just gonna take a tiramisu and go.
Speaker:[Campari] Are we going to have a problem?
Speaker:[Holloway] No, no, it's just like I said.
Speaker:You know, I appreciate a distance between me and my meals.
Speaker:[Tony] [Tony moos] [Campari] Shut up and pick up the mallet!
Speaker:[Lasagna] Pick it up!
Speaker:[Holloway] Okay, okay!
Speaker:[Campari] Now give Tony a good whop on his soft, little, head.
Speaker:[Holloway] I really don't...
Speaker:[Campari] Shut up and do it already!
Speaker:[Tony] [Tony moos excitedly]
Speaker:[Campari] Take out Tony.
Speaker:Take out Tony.
Speaker:Take out Tony.
Speaker:[Holloway] Sorry, Tony...
Speaker:[Tony] [Tony moos] [Music Crescendos]
Speaker:[Narrator] Squad car 22 is a sci-fi, comedy, audio-drama.
Speaker:Listened to the first season for free on Spotify, iTunes, Podcast Addict, YouTube, and any other
Speaker:podcast app.
Speaker:Squad Car 22 is part of the deep drag podcast family.
Speaker:[Campari] Look at the shiny watch moving back and forth in front of your eyes.
Speaker:You will forget you ever met a talking Lasagna and Campari bottle.
Speaker:[Holloway] Are you trying to hypnotize me?
Speaker:[Campari] Yes.
